12 Problems Only People in the Phase Between Hooking Up and a Relationship Understand
What. Are. We.
5. Carrying your stuff around with you like a sex Sherpa because you don't know if you can leave stuff at their place or not. Every time I'd go see the last person this happened with, I always packed a kit like I was going sex camping. OK, let's see. Toothbrush, underwear, vitamins, wallet, keys, and a compass in case I get lost because their apartment has so many doors and none of them are an exit.
6. Wanting to ask their roommates what they think you are, but also realizing that makes you sound nuts. Plus, there's no easy way to corner their roommates and half the time, the roommates of the person you're hooking up with are so bizarre and unlikable, you'd rather avoid speaking to them for pretty much the rest of your time there.
7. When you realize you could actually fall for this person and then immediately have to shut down your emotions because you have no clue how they feel. This is so nice. God, we connect on, like, every level ... shit. Just kidding. We are friends who hook up and I am fine with that. Fine. Or maybe I should just stop doing this all together because I have feelings now and that was not the plan.
8. Trying to maintain the delicate line between texting too much and too little so as not to seem clingy, but also not let things fizzle out. Is once a day good? That's not, like, girlfriend-y, but at least we're talking regularly so it's not like I'm purely a hookup. Or if I am a hookup, I'm a hookup who sends really spot-on GIFs. You don't let a gal like that slip away.
9. Having no idea if you two have a standing date on Fridays or if that's more of a last-minute, if-neither-of-you-has-other-plans situation. Do I ask them what we're doing Friday or will that answer be, "Nothing, yo, I'm not your boyfriend"? I guess I'll just wait for them to ask even though now I feel like I'm in the 1950s waiting for a boy to call and I hate this.
10. Trying not to check their social media too much to find out if they're flirting with other girls because you don't care and also you're not together anyway. "I mean, we're not together anyway" is like the anthem of people in this awful in-between place. It basically means "I would probably like to be with someone, but I also like what I have, so I'll tolerate slightly less than I want. For now, anyway."
11. Trying to resign yourself to all outcomes. Well, it might always be like this. We might just be people who sleep together. I'm OK with that ... maybe. Or we might be people who might be together one day, which is also cool ... maybe. This entire relationship is a maybe. I need to call them this weekend and just be honest already.
12. Trying to finally have The Talk about what you guys mean to each other, without making it sound like you want to get married in July off the coast of Nantucket and also here's the scrapbook of how our wedding will look. Listen, Jeremy, I just want to know if at some point, you want to get dinner like people who care about each other because it's been five months, which means we have to at least care about each other on some level. No, I know we don't have a relationship-relationship but we have a relationship to each other. Oh Jesus, Jeremy, are we ever going to date or not?
